Woot Woot! Pull over!
I thought I would kick off the old blog with some simple thoughts and even simpler advice.
I have a little relationship problem. No, it is not stalking a guy's ex-girlfriends or snooping on their cell phones. I don't hack their emails or search their bedrooms. I don't even check up on them or send copious amounts of e-correspondence. I do however deserve a serious citation for a little gaffe that gets the best of me from time to time. Somebody handcuff me after a couple of drinks because if I am within 10 minutes driving of ex-boyfriend, my sneaky little fingers will get the itch and I will again be guilty of a most sticky offense...the T.U.I.
Now you may not think that "texting under the influence" is such a big deal. Let me relate a little story to you of a classic example of how this gets me in trou-ble. I was out at a bar with my brother Dean, his wife and my neighbor. Things are chill. I mean come on, I am with my brother, what kind of trouble could I possibly get into? Well, sure enough drink number 3 hits me and I start to get that itchy finger feeling. The cell phone is glowing red hot in my purse. I pick it up and uh-oh- that first little, "what are you doing tonight" message practically springs off my fingertips and the wheels begin to turn.
Please keep in mind that I have most solemnly declared to myself that there will be no calling of exs, no more sticky friendships with guys that always end up wanting more. All of my good resolutions come to naught, courtesy of unlimited texting fom AT&T. Within 3 exchanges, I am sitting at the back of the bar chatting with two seemingly friendly and pretty cute dudes when I get another text. This time it is from my brother. "Ben is here," it says. (names have been changed). "Oh crap" I think to myself, "I did it again."
Now I've got my "friend" Ben there and he's asking all kinds of questions, like "who is this guy?" meaning my neighbor. Of course, he has not come to hang out with his friend the Hamp. No no, not only has he come here with less than stellar intentions, but now I have to smooth out the tensions, explain the situation to my over-protective brother and his over-curious wife AND ditch the two dudes from the back of the bar. Good gracious. A minute in the life of the Hamp.
Fast forward about two weeks after I SWORE to myself that I would go to TA, Texters Anonymous. (We realize that we have no power over text messaging and give our lives to the responsible use and not abuse of cell phones.) I'm at lunch with an ex when the texting conversation comes up again! I was being officially chastised for late night texts that "gave him hope that I still like him." Nope, sorry dude, you were just another victim of TUI and I was yes, within a 5 mile proximity of your house. Anyways, I promised to knock it off. So dangit, TUI - 2, The Hamp - 0.
There are so many excuses that run through a text-ahols mind before that first nefarious little slip. "I just want to see what he's up to" is one of my biggest culprits. How about, "it will be more fun here with more people" or "I just want to hang out." These sneaky thoughts get me into more drama than you can imagine. Sometimes you get out with just a bullet graze, messages from the ex about how much they still miss you and how you are still frequenting their dreams. Then there are the full blown Gossip Girl episodes where they show up at your doorstep in the middle of the night "Say Anything" style with a boombox and a one-man tent.
Moral of the story folks.
Friends don't let friends, text while intoxicated.
I thought I would kick off the old blog with some simple thoughts and even simpler advice.
I have a little relationship problem. No, it is not stalking a guy's ex-girlfriends or snooping on their cell phones. I don't hack their emails or search their bedrooms. I don't even check up on them or send copious amounts of e-correspondence. I do however deserve a serious citation for a little gaffe that gets the best of me from time to time. Somebody handcuff me after a couple of drinks because if I am within 10 minutes driving of ex-boyfriend, my sneaky little fingers will get the itch and I will again be guilty of a most sticky offense...the T.U.I.
Now you may not think that "texting under the influence" is such a big deal. Let me relate a little story to you of a classic example of how this gets me in trou-ble. I was out at a bar with my brother Dean, his wife and my neighbor. Things are chill. I mean come on, I am with my brother, what kind of trouble could I possibly get into? Well, sure enough drink number 3 hits me and I start to get that itchy finger feeling. The cell phone is glowing red hot in my purse. I pick it up and uh-oh- that first little, "what are you doing tonight" message practically springs off my fingertips and the wheels begin to turn.
Please keep in mind that I have most solemnly declared to myself that there will be no calling of exs, no more sticky friendships with guys that always end up wanting more. All of my good resolutions come to naught, courtesy of unlimited texting fom AT&T. Within 3 exchanges, I am sitting at the back of the bar chatting with two seemingly friendly and pretty cute dudes when I get another text. This time it is from my brother. "Ben is here," it says. (names have been changed). "Oh crap" I think to myself, "I did it again."
Now I've got my "friend" Ben there and he's asking all kinds of questions, like "who is this guy?" meaning my neighbor. Of course, he has not come to hang out with his friend the Hamp. No no, not only has he come here with less than stellar intentions, but now I have to smooth out the tensions, explain the situation to my over-protective brother and his over-curious wife AND ditch the two dudes from the back of the bar. Good gracious. A minute in the life of the Hamp.
Fast forward about two weeks after I SWORE to myself that I would go to TA, Texters Anonymous. (We realize that we have no power over text messaging and give our lives to the responsible use and not abuse of cell phones.) I'm at lunch with an ex when the texting conversation comes up again! I was being officially chastised for late night texts that "gave him hope that I still like him." Nope, sorry dude, you were just another victim of TUI and I was yes, within a 5 mile proximity of your house. Anyways, I promised to knock it off. So dangit, TUI - 2, The Hamp - 0.
There are so many excuses that run through a text-ahols mind before that first nefarious little slip. "I just want to see what he's up to" is one of my biggest culprits. How about, "it will be more fun here with more people" or "I just want to hang out." These sneaky thoughts get me into more drama than you can imagine. Sometimes you get out with just a bullet graze, messages from the ex about how much they still miss you and how you are still frequenting their dreams. Then there are the full blown Gossip Girl episodes where they show up at your doorstep in the middle of the night "Say Anything" style with a boombox and a one-man tent.
Moral of the story folks.
Friends don't let friends, text while intoxicated.
P.S. Damn you Qwerty keyboard! Damn You!
